My husband’s travels regularly lead to funny situations between us. Find out how intruders, unicorns and a prevented suicide attempt are linked with my husband’s business trips and why they made me laugh!
There’s an intruder in the house!
Considering how often my husband is away from home, it’s no surprise that I sometimes mix up his schedule.
Last autumn I had the shock of my life when a man appeared in my sleeping room in the middle of the night. I even attacked him – until I realized that it was my own husband, who had returned home early from a business trip.
But let’s start from the beginning:
Sometime after midnight I woke from a noise. I lay still, listening into the darkness. Somebody was breathing and I could hear steps too. I froze. There was an intruder in my sleeping room! In the dim light from the window I saw a figure passing by. Before I could work out a plan, the figure approached me and bent down towards my side of the bed.
Without thinking I grabbed a pillow, smashed it in his face and made my escape out of the bed. All I could think was that I had to get out of this room!
„Are you crazy?!“ A male voice cursed and I stopped in my tracks. This wasn’t any intruder. I knew this voice – and suddenly I remembered: My husband had returned home from a business trip late last night.
„What on earth are you doing next to my bed? You scared me to death!” I snapped at him. My heart was still beating like crazy.
„I was looking for nose spray in your bed stand. Lost mine somewhere on the plane.”
“I thought you were a burglar.”
„I’m glad you didn’t choose to hit me with the bedside lamp.” My husband joked and I wasn’t sure if I should laugh or cry.
At least I know now: If there’s a real burglar, I should definitely go for the bedside lamp!
Do Taiwanese eat unicorns?
While my husband travels to far-away countries, we mostly communicate via WhatsApp. This sometimes leads to funny misunderstandings.
Recently my husband sent me a strange picture from Taiwan:
I wasn’t sure what this was all about and asked:
Sina [14:04]: What on earth is this?! 😆
Mr Grumbert [14:06]: Totally crazy
Mr Grumbert [14:06]: Unicorn
Sina [14:06]: ?
Sina [14:06]: You mean rhino?
Mr Grumbert [14:06]: No – unicorn. They’ve specialized on things like that.
Sina [14:08]: Are you drunk?
Mr Grumbert [14:09]: Just had one beer, why?
Sina [14:15]: Unicorns are mythical creatures and don’t exist in real life!
Mr Grumbert [14:16]: 😂 😂 😂
Sina [14:16]: ?
Mr Grumbert [14:16]: It was PORK of course! I meant that the restaurant is specialized on theme dinners related to fairy tales. Cinderella’s carriage is parked in the driveway
Sina [14:16]: 😂 😂 😂
… and while my husband is sending me pictures of unicorns and I’m imagining myself in some fairy-tale restaurant, my boss expects me to analyse some new legal requirements for our company. Welcome to my crazy life as a wife of a frequent traveller!
Are you trying to kill yourself?!
The third and last story today, again, took place in the middle of the night. But this time around, my husband scared me in a different way:
When I opened my eyes, he was fiddling with the curtains of our floor-to-ceiling windows.
“Everything ok?” I asked, slightly alarmed.
„I have to go to the loo.” He replied automatically. Then he paused and took a step back from the window. Obviously realizing that something wasn’t right here.
“The door is at the opposite side of the room” I tried to help.
“Damn, you’re right. I guess I’ve been sleeping in too many hotels over the past weeks.” With these words he trotted out of the room and I couldn’t stop smiling. My poor husband!
Today, we’re both still laughing about his desperate search for the toilet that night. And it still gives me a good feeling, that there are railings in front of our windows. So I can at least be sure, that he won’t commit suicide while confusing our home with some hotel room.
That’s it for the moment. Let’s see which other funny moments his travels bring up in the next months – I’ll keep you posted.